Don´t get me wrong, I love men, I do, just some situations are so hilarious it is worth to talk about and look at in humorous ways. So no offence to guys and cats, you both are amazing, so let’s laugh a little.

When you are feeling lonely, day after day, need some company, and you think of changing something, maybe getting yourself a pet to keep you company and keep you busy, or maybe going to get yourself a boyfriend. Well in both cases you need to think well before making a decision. They both require a commitment, so you have to think what you are ready for, or maybe none. And what kind of attention do you wish for yourself this moment. Or maybe you want to be greedy and get them both? Let’s see.

-If you will leave your kitty alone for a long time, she (let’s assume in this article that it´s a she) will definitely get angry on you, probably you better hide your shoes in the closet and don´t leave it on the floor, because she might pee on it as a revenge. Same with bags. Clothing. Just hide everything what you wear, what has your smell and what you like. If you wanted to get rid of something for a long time, oh well then it might be good possibility to finally throw it away, so go ahead and leave it on the floor to make kitty happy that she got her revenge. And that will be it. Cats usually don’t hold the grudge for long. You will get cozy in bed, she will lay next to you and start purring lullaby helping you fall asleep.

About men in similar scenario. If you will decide to go out with your girlfriends, for example, and it might go long because you are just having a really good time. When you come back home much later than you thought you would, and then it starts. Your poor man is hungry (fridge doesn’t cook food by it apparently), was eating some leftovers, nobody did that and that, and it goes on and on. He even might remind you week, month later when you will be having some little argument, that you stayed with your friends longer then you said you would, and poor guy was lonely and nobody gave him a massage before he felt asleep.

-They do both have something in common too. If they do something bad, both pretend that nothing happened and they are ´good‘ until caught doing bad. For example, cat will be sitting on sofa, sleeping in peace, but if you will go to the kitchen in the morning, and you will see that somebody during night was playing with roll of paper hand towels, and now it is torn into small little pieces all over the floor, and you will say cats name in angry tone, when you go back cat will not be on sofa anymore, you will not find her anywhere for couple hours no matter how hard you will look. She will be smart enough to hide until you will calm down and don’t be angry anymore. Then the cat finally will show up again, she will be soft as silk, going around your legs and looking at you with most innocent eyes ever, that you couldn’t have enough strength in your eyes to say anything to this little angel.

With men it is few possibilities. For instance, you found out that he didn´t delete his account at dating site where you too have meet even he told he deleted it months ago. First possibility, he might say that he doesn’t use it and you are paranoid. Second – he will apologize and treat you like a princess all evening and there is no way you can be angry when you are getting flowers.

-From the good side, they both can hug you and warm you at night, of course, men are warmer than cats, but it depends, if a man likes just to push you away and sleep in another corner of the bed, with lots of space to himself, then you will be really cold at winter. Actually there is also possibility to get totally kicked out from bed at night and end up on the floor. And luckily at least cats are not big or strong enough to do that, even if they try to make more space for themselves. Also cats most likely will sleep close to you always, usually even too close, laying their ass on your pillow in front of your face.

-Both of them can give you ´pets´ of all kind. If cat likes to stay outside, she might get to your home and bed some fleas. The ´pets´ a man can give you between the sheets might be little bit more hard to get rid of than just changing the sheets and showering with right shampoo.

-After both of them you need to clean up, just cats are smaller and leaves less mess.

-For both you will have to prepare food. For cats it´s enough to open a can, for a man you can cook for three straight hours straight, the result is the same, from the first one you hear anxious ´meow ´ (otherwise know as ´feed me finally you human my slave´) from the second you might get ´Thank you´, ´Thank you it was good´ or ´Is that it? It´s not enough for me´. Or nothing at all. Depends on person. Anyway also you will be the one doing dishes. Good that cats don´t use much dishes and it´s easy. After ´human´ dinner you have sink full of dishes and a man on sofa so tired who just wants to watch football no matter you were working today also. Go figure.

-Another situation about men and food, if a man likes to be taken care of, well we girls like to spoil them, then even when you are in huge amount of pain, hurt, just got back from hospital, you might have to cook, because someone doesn´t know how to use your oven. At least cats are not smart enough to understand that now you shouldn’t need to stand and be a kitchen slave, someone would serve you while you are sick, not the other way around.

-Both of them can hurt you. Cat with her sharp as little needles nails, men with their words hurtful as a knife and deep as a sword going to your heart.

-For both of them you might be a slave or a queen. Depends on his/hers attitude towards you.

-Man as a cat can stay in bed for hours and do nothing. Also man can sit in front of TV for 10 hours straight while you are at work and even don´t think about that he should maybe make a bed or maybe, maybe make you dinner, that you shouldn’t have to do it after long day of work.

-Both of them sometimes don’t know what the hell they want. Cat can follow you meowing all day, and no matter what you will give her or how much you will pet her, still she will continue meowing and asking for who knows what. Same is with men. Sometimes they can walk mumbling all day around, and no matter how much times you will ask what is wrong, or you will go and sweet talk to them, still they will continue mumbling and being unhappy, for no reason.

-They both can also heal you. Cats are known for ´pulling put´ your bad ´emotions´ and ´energy´ just be being close then you are angry or sad. They will always calm you down. Of course a man can hug you and hold you while you are feeling vulnerable, sad, confused and anxious until you feel better. Or just tell you pull yourself together, grow up and stop acting like a child. Sometimes we need such attitude too to pull ourselves together.

-And both of these creature can bring you gifts. Cats like to bring prey for you, a gift to and owner, for example dead mouse near your bed, men can bring you breakfast into bed. These gifts which men can give are more pleasant.

So you choose to have one of them, both of them or none of them. Still you love both and would do anything to please them. And if you have a man who is nothing of those things above, don´t let him go, he is a keeper.

Meow.