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Simona Martinaityte

Do bullies actually grow up?


That’s a good question. Many choose to believe that those ´bad boys´ from school actually change and grow up to be good citizens. But though out many situations in my life and which accrued to my friends, I started to think… Do bullies really ever change? Or they just learn to bully people other way and hide it better?

Yes, some people can change. But a lot of people choose not to. Why to change when it feels so good to ´be in charge´ of others feelings? Manipulate? And more…

People at work who are in charge like to bully others to feel more powerful. Bullying can be in a form of criticism also. When someone constantly says you are doing everything wrong, even you done everything exactly as asked. Some people just like to feel the power of being able to boss others around. Feel even a little bit of power. It makes them feel somehow better seeing others in confusion, stress and psychological pain. They know they cost it and they are proud of it. Been there and done that. In my case I was made to feel worthless so that I would feel like I am worth nothing and would stay doing shitty job for not even the salary I deserve and keep putting in extra non paid time to get work done. Of course, for bully in a form of boss it´s good, for worker, it´s not.

Bullying are also very often happening between co-workers. Sometimes it happens face to face, sometimes behind the back. Taking trash about others is also a form of bullying. If you have problem with someone, go and try to solve it calmly in ´face to face´ manner like an adult. Children talk behind others backs ´couse they don’t know better. Apparently, many adults like to behave as children, still. No growing up there. Still has to be done.

Bullies which I personally despise the most are…. Your temporary co-workers at your practice/internship place. When someone is already working for free, otherwise these days ´slave labor´, and you always need to hear hurtful comments behind your back, or take shit straight up, that doesn’t make you feel good. Since usually you got to swallow that shit up ´couse you need to do this ´work´ which you are not getting paid for, just to graduate from university or school or something similar. Been there and done that. I just wish that people would grow up faster and wouldn’t behave as children after age of 30. Wishful thinking. Will it ever happen? Or with new generation things will get worse and worse?

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